UPDATE : Oh great, and as I'm writing these lines ... got BANNED.
HOW AWESOME. One of the rare person who actually cared and still cares about my work, banned.
Aren't I the luckiest man alive ?
Honestly, to anyone who has read this :
The result of my mind change...First of all : SPRING BREAK STARTS NOW ! At last !
Now, onto the subject :
1 ) If you're actually worth it as a friend (or simply as a good watcher of mine) , you probably noticed how I've been uploading much more artwork lately ... And ... How I've improved (except for Dolan stuff of course XD.). Not to sound like a pretentious artist, but I feel like I've been too mean with myself lately ... When I look at my artwork, honestly, for a hobbyist, that's not that bad, even good.
Simply... I noticed that :
The less I care about being good, the better I am.
2 ) Same thing on the social side. I kind of gave up the "IONLYWATCHPEOPLEWHOWATCHME" thing ... Because it's stupid (although I still do watch 4 watch, but if I watch someone without him/her watching me back, I'm fine with it.). Sometimes, it's BETTER TO BE KIND THAN JUST BE RIGHT =>
The less I ask for attention, the more po
, this journal is something I intellectually agree with.
Let's be honest there ... That feeling is stronger than myself. I just can't help it.
I just can't help it, when nearly nobody cares about my art, this upsets me just too damn much, especially when I'm being ignored by my own friends, especially when I spent much time on it... Now, before you start, I know I'm not the only one with this issue, I know I'm not alone on this website, I know I'm not the center of the world, I KNOW.
Hopefully, I've understood that it's not about me being good or bad, it's just coming from people who either purposely ignore my pieces, have nothing to say or simply do not care. And when I just came across someone with 30-40 watchers whose art has more views, favorites and comments
than mine ... There's a problem here. And it's not even being an attention-whore , it's just the pale and cold truth. How come, when I upload artwork, it barely has 3 faves and 20 pageviews, whereas some people with like ten times less watchers already have WAY more views than I do ...
I remember a friend of mine telling me that artwork is not meant to be "FAVORITED" but to be viewed, stared at, noticed... Yet, not only can't I have faves, but now, I'm even LOSING pageviews, which means, nobody EVEN looks at my art anymore.
I used to complain about not getting favorites, that was childlish ... I used to complain about not being good ... That was wrong, and childlish again ... But now, I'm literally losing EVERYTHING. Even when I upload my art into groups, it's still ignored (and by ignored, I REALLY MEAN IT.). No more pageviews, nor comments, nor favorites. NOTHING.I've been told several time that I MUST do art for myself and ONLY. Yet, for MYSELF, I've decided to stop doing art for a while.
If making art only leads me to a disillusionment and a despair, is my own work still beneficial for myself ? I doubt it.
I'm not going to repeat the same chorus over and over again, everybody is aware of this problem and you might know what I think of it now.
Allow me to say that people who think that : many watchers = popularity , are fucking stupid.
You can have 6587 watchers, if only two care, you are not popular. Deal with it.
But, as I don't like to put everyone in the same bag, I'd like to give a big thanks to :
for having made me feel like I wasn't doing this for nothing. (Notice how I can count them on my hands. Now, compare this list to my 473 watchers...)